A Case study: Children from divorcing family

This article reflects the author’s present recollections of experiences over time. Some names and characteristics have been changed, some events have been compressed, and some dialogue has been recreated.

Donna and Angelina, (both 5) are friends. 

The other day, Donna asks her friend, “Angelina, do you think, I have done something to make mummy angry?   

“ .... Do you think mummy really loves me?” 

“Mummy said the other day; she would go out of the house to stay with her friend and asked me to be good to grandmother and daddy. Daddy and she had stopped talking also, long time ago...!

Angelina, I think, I won’t go to school from tomorrow as something might happen, when I am away!

Insights: Children, when they are separated from either of their parents due to break up or a divorce children face a lot of emotional difficulties. They often go through a range of different feelings such as fear, anger, abandonment, guilt, which are not usually visible to others around them. At times, they may even start to blame themselves for the changes in the family structure.

However, things could be much better for them if they could get the appropriate support from people who are trained to deal with the children who are caught up in trauma or difficult situations. Working through such difficult times with a trained counsellor can help children come to terms with the family's changing dynamics and start to feel better again.  

Hema Gurnani